Name it. Rewrite It: The ADHD guide to financial identity.
If you’ve ever seen Monsters, Inc., there’s a moment where Sully accidentally calls the little girl “Boo.” Mike panics and blurts out, “You do not name it!” Because once you name something, you start getting attached to it.
The same is true for money.
Not the dollars themselves, but the identity we hold about who we are with money.
Understanding Your Financial Identity
Your financial identity is the story you believe about yourself in relation to money.
It’s shaped by:
Past experiences
Family messages
Culture and community
ADHD-related executive dysfunction
Stress and repeated criticism
By age 12, kids with ADHD have heard 20,000 more correctional comments than their neurotypical peers. That’s 20,000 reminders that something is “wrong.” When you hear a message on repeat, it becomes your identity, even when it’s not true.
So you end up with beliefs like:
“I’m just not good with money.”
“Spending is how I show love.”
“Money burns a hole in my pocket.”
“I’m greedy if I don’t share.”
These identities become labels, and once they’re named (like “Boo”), we attach to them, even when they hurt us.
Naming Your Money Story
Before you can rewrite your identity, you have to name it.
Start with your earliest money memory.
What’s the first “rule” you learned?
For me, I grew up hearing, “If you want it, buy it.”
That shaped me into believing I was “a spender.”
But the real root was the belief: money is meant to be spent.
What’s yours?
Because naming it isn’t judgment.
It’s clarity.
And clarity gives us control.
Your Identity Isn’t Set in Stone
Here’s the good news: identities can be rewritten.
When I was in the Army, I struggled to qualify with my weapon. I walked up to the range convinced I’d fail, and the NCOs immediately shut that down.
“Not with that attitude.”
They weren’t wrong. And yes, the push-ups helped, but so did the mindset shift. I stopped telling myself, “I can’t qualify,” and started believing I could.
Once I did, my actions followed.
The brain is built for this.
It’s called neuroplasticity: your ability to form new pathways and patterns with new thoughts and experiences.
Your financial identity is not fixed.
It is learnable, shapeable, and absolutely changeable.
How to Rewrite Your Money Identity
Think of it like qualifying on the range. You don’t have to hit every target; you start with the closest ones.
1. Pick one script to rewrite
Old script:
I’m just not good with money.
New script:
I am learning how to manage my money in a way that works for my brain.
2. Look for proof (small wins count)
Checking your budget once this week
Paying a bill on time
Saying no to an impulse buy
Putting $5 in savings
These are “close targets.”
Hit enough of them, and your identity shifts.
3. Anchor it to your values
Tie the new identity to who you want to be:
“I pay bills on time because consistency matters to me.”
“I check my numbers weekly because stability helps my ADHD brain feel calm.”
Anchoring turns behavior into identity.
4. Repeat it until your brain rewires
This isn’t wishful thinking; this is neuroplasticity.
Repetition builds new neural pathways.
Small wins reinforce them.
Your identity upgrades one choice at a time.
From Chaos to Control
If your old identity says, “I’m bad with money,” that is just a story, not a definition.
You can rename it.
You can rewire it.
You can rewrite it.
Your new script might sound like:
“I budget in a way that works for my ADHD brain.”
“I’m learning to pause before I buy.”
“I am becoming someone who manages money with confidence.”
Because you are not stuck with the identity you were handed.
You get to choose the one you walk forward with.